Scott's Contribution

       Ah saw th' movie gart ay honoor a while ago an' sae Ah thooght Ah hud th' scottish accent an' aw th' traditional culture figured it. Ah e'en hae th' kilts huir uv a appropriately termed (those plaid skirts they wear) an' th' harps, fiddles, th' lang socks 'at come reit up afair their calves an' th' tap-dancin' leprechauns as they joorney athwart th' rainbaw tae reach their pots ay gauld. braw, th' former micht jist be maur stereotypes based oan th' mainstream ideals th' media imprints intae uir minds, but th' accent was somethin' Ah was truly sure was legit. Ah e'en started tryin' tae imitate patrick dempsey’s best friend’s fiancée talkin' in th' beginnin' ay thes clip, jist tae add anither accent intae mah lang an' not-at-all-weird list ay sassenach accents. these include but arenae limited tae french, indian, brooklyn, british, chonga. (note: jist coz they’re oan mah list disnae necessarily pure techt Ah dae them well). these ur yit tae be perfected but they dae demonstrate mah idealistic goals. th' fact ay th' matter is, Ah was huir uv a horribly tricked. ye see, somethin' is definitely wrang when someain is 'spikin sassenach an' ye ur huir uv a sure they ur 'spikin a completely different leid. Ah pure techt, th' pronunciation ay th' written leid is only sae wide in its breadth ay possibilities 'at it shoods harboor dialects 'at, mm, Ah don’t ken, don’t make ye question whit is comin' it ay their mooths an' in whit leid. see, Ah didn’t ken thaur was a way tae make th' phrases “ain she lived in a wee cottage” an' “once upon a time” soond undistinguishably different in sassenach. fin fact: thaur is. sassenach in scootlund, dearies, sassenach in scootlund. while hearin' thes cheil in th' documentary teel th' story “jack an' th' devil’s castle” (cool title by th' way) Ah serioosly thooght he was 'spikin finnish ur danish. i’ve bin tae finlain an' tae denmark an' th' way 'at cheil spoke was sae similar tae those languages it was uncanny. but 'en Ah guess, if sassenach can be spoken in sic' a way 'at it soonds similar tae those languages, therein lies some interestin' verification intae th' fact 'at sassenach, german, an' th' scandinavian languages come frae th' sam leid branch, they’re aw germanic languages. we ur aw united intae a body big fowk. hoo sweit. nae, pure. Ah jist want tae clear up 'at if it soonded loch Ah was in onie way hating/deeply-annoyed by th' lack ay clarity ay th' scottish sassenach, i’m nae. if anythin' Ah loch it a lot (but Ah loch aw th' languages Ah don’t know—ur in thes case, don’t understand—so Ah wooldn’t feel tay special). an' th' scottish actually play a pure important role as tae th' spreid ay sassenach back in th' early 17th century, seein' as th' scot irish cam tae america an' mit wi' german an' sassenach, an' proceeded tae spreid aroond th' coontry. an' sae, it is uir duty tae thenk them, e'en if it is in th' manner ay nae judgin' their kilts, fur their contribution tae uir leid. especially since most ay th' scot irish cultures frae back in th' day hae disappeared only tae be printed intae uir memories by folk culture left behin'. indeed.


     I saw the movie Made of Honour a while ago and so I thought I had the Scottish accent and all the traditional culture figured out. I even have the kilts very appropriately termed (those plaid skirts they wear) and the harps, fiddles, the long socks that come right up before their calves and the tap-dancing leprechauns as they journey across the rainbow to reach their pots of gold. Fine, the former might just be mere stereotypes based on the mainstream ideals the media imprints into our minds, but the accent was something I was truly sure was legit. I even started trying to imitate Patrick Dempsey’s best friend’s fiancée talking in the beginning of this clip, just to add another accent into my long and not-at-all-weird list of English accents. These include but are not limited to French, Indian, Brooklyn, British, Chonga. (Note: just because they’re on my list does not necessarily mean I do them well). These are yet to be perfected but they do demonstrate my idealistic goals. The fact of the matter is, I was very horribly tricked.

            You see, something is definitely wrong when someone is speaking English and you are very sure they are speaking a completely different language. I mean, the pronunciation of the written language is only so wide in its breadth of possibilities that it should harbour dialects that, mm, I don’t know, don’t make you question what is coming out of their mouths and in what language. See, I didn’t know there was a way to make the phrases “and she lived in a small cottage” and “once upon a time” sound undistinguishably different in English. Fun fact: there is. English in Scotland, dearies, English in Scotland. While hearing this man in the documentary tell the story “Jack and the Devil’s Castle” (cool title by the way) I seriously thought he was speaking Finnish or Danish. I’ve been to Finland and to Denmark and the way that man spoke was so similar to those languages it was uncanny. But then I guess, if English can be spoken in such a way that it sounds similar to those languages, therein lies some interesting verification into the fact that English, German, and the Scandinavian languages come from the same language branch, they’re all Germanic languages.

            We are all united into one big family. How sweet. No, really. I just want to clear up that if it sounded like I was in any way hating/deeply-annoyed by the lack of clarity of the Scottish English, I’m not. If anything I like it a lot (but I like all the languages I don’t know—or in this case, don’t understand—so I wouldn’t feel too special). And the Scottish actually play a really important role as to the spread of English back in the early 17^th century, seeing as the Scot Irish came to America and met with German and English, and proceeded to spread around the country. And so, it is our duty to thank them, even if it is in the manner of not judging their kilts, for their contribution to our language. Especially since most of the Scot Irish cultures from back in the day have disappeared only to be printed into our memories by folk culture left behind. Indeed.

The Story of English: An English Speaking World. William Cran. 1986.Documentary. PBS.1986.